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75 questions to ask in a long distance relationship

Updated · 10 min read

Every long distance couple knows the moment: the call is still on, you both want to keep talking, and neither of you has anything left to say. It’s not a bad sign. You just have fewer shared moments to talk about, so you need better prompts.

Here are 75 questions to ask your long distance boyfriend or girlfriend, grouped from light to deep. Save this page, and ask one a day.

A stack of question cards next to a mug of tea and a phone with a heart on the screen

Fun questions for everyday calls

Light questions for when you just want to hear their voice.

  1. What was the best part of your day?
  2. What did you eat today? Show me.
  3. What song have you had on repeat this week?
  4. If you could teleport here for one hour, what would we do?
  5. What is the most random thing you saw today?
  6. What is your comfort show right now?
  7. Which of your friends would you set up on a date, and with whom?
  8. If our relationship was a movie, who would play us?
  9. What would your perfect lazy Sunday look like?
  10. What is a food you could eat every day for a year?
  11. What is the weirdest dream you remember?
  12. What emoji do you use the most with me?
  13. What is one thing on your desk right now that says a lot about you?
  14. If you had to live in a different decade, which one?
  15. What is something small that made you smile today?

Deep questions to ask your partner

For the late-night calls when neither of you wants to hang up.

  1. When do you miss me the most?
  2. What does home mean to you?
  3. What is something you have never told anyone?
  4. What is a memory from childhood that shaped you?
  5. How do you know when you feel loved?
  6. What are you most proud of that nobody talks about?
  7. What is something you are still trying to forgive yourself for?
  8. What scares you about the future?
  9. Who do you turn to when things are hard, other than me?
  10. What did you learn from your last relationship?
  11. When did you last cry, and why?
  12. What part of yourself are you working on right now?
  13. What would you do if you knew you could not fail?
  14. What does a good life look like to you?
  15. What do you wish more people understood about you?

Questions about your relationship

Check-ins that keep you close, and a few that are just sweet.

Two people on the phone in separate rooms, one in daylight and one at night, connected by a line of hearts
  1. What did you first notice about me?
  2. When did you know you liked me?
  3. What is your favourite memory of us so far?
  4. What do I do that makes you feel most loved?
  5. Is there anything you need more of from me right now?
  6. What is the hardest part of the distance for you?
  7. How often do you want to talk, honestly?
  8. What is something about me you want to know more about?
  9. What little habit of mine do you miss?
  10. When do you feel closest to me, even from far away?
  11. What should we do more of on our calls?
  12. Is there anything you have been afraid to bring up?
  13. What is one thing we are really good at as a couple?
  14. Which photo of us is your favourite, and why?
  15. What song reminds you of us?

Questions about the future and closing the distance

Long distance works best when it has a plan. These help you build one.

  1. What do you want to do first when we see each other?
  2. Where would you want to live together?
  3. How long do you see us doing long distance?
  4. What would you need to be ready to move?
  5. What is one trip you want us to take together?
  6. What does our apartment look like in your head?
  7. What would our ordinary weekday look like?
  8. Do you want pets? How many is too many?
  9. What traditions do you want us to have?
  10. Where do you see us in five years?
  11. What do you want to celebrate together this year?
  12. How do you want to spend our next holiday?
  13. What are you saving up for?
  14. What is one thing you want us to learn together?
  15. What would make the next months apart easier?

Would you rather, long distance edition

Quick, silly, and weirdly revealing.

  1. Would you rather have one long visit a year or four short ones?
  2. Would you rather text all day or have one long call at night?
  3. Would you rather get a letter or a voice note?
  4. Would you rather share a time zone or share a city with a two-hour commute?
  5. Would you rather watch a movie together or play a game together?
  6. Would you rather I surprise you with a visit or plan it together?
  7. Would you rather have a sleep call or a morning call?
  8. Would you rather cook together or order the same takeaway?
  9. Would you rather live by the sea or in the mountains?
  10. Would you rather know how our story ends or be surprised?
  11. Would you rather go on a road trip or a city break together?
  12. Would you rather relive our first date or skip to our next visit?
  13. Would you rather get a handwritten letter every month or a gift every year?
  14. Would you rather fight one horse-sized duck or 100 duck-sized horses?
  15. Would you rather have our song or our place?

How to use these questions

  • One a day. Send one question in the morning, and talk about it on your evening call.
  • Both answer. Take turns asking first. The follow-up “why?” matters more than the answer.
  • Don’t force the deep ones. Save them for relaxed calls, not after a long workday.
  • Mix in games. Questions are great, but so is laughing together. Try one of these long distance relationship games or virtual date ideas.

Frequently asked questions

What should I ask my long distance boyfriend?

Mix light and deep questions: what was the best part of his day, what he misses most about being together, what he would do if you were there right now, and where he sees the two of you living in five years. Questions about the future and your next visit are especially good in long distance relationships.

What are deep questions to ask in a long distance relationship?

Deep questions include: when do you miss me the most, what does home mean to you, what is something you have never told anyone, what scares you about the distance, and how do you know when you feel loved.

How do you keep conversations interesting in a long distance relationship?

Ask one new question a day, play games on your calls, share small details of your day (photos, voice notes), plan your next visit together, and have regular virtual dates with an activity so not every call is just talking.